agility · mindset · wholeness

The Importance of Wholeness

It was 2008, and I had taken a train to Bournemouth, on the South coast of the UK. I had worked only in Reading before, so it was my first visit to Bournemouth. At the interview I had scheduled there, I met Robert. I loved the way he asked me questions – he was looking for what I knew, and I felt very comfortable explaining myself and my professional experience to him. I could be myself, because someone wanted to really know what I knew, whereas sadly, most of my interviews before that had focused a lot on what I didn’t know.

To be able to be yourself is something which might sound very simple, but in reality, not many people are able to do that. It’s almost like people wear this mask in front of others, and I’ve seen many colleagues of mine wear that mask for a very long time, feeling like the more fake they are, the better they look. In reality, the more you act against your true self, the more you need to work on it.

Sometimes I feel many organisations have this pressure to have people behave in a certain way. The employees don’t understand the need or the culture of the company, they just prefer wearing the mask, and behaving in a way which the company likes, and they become fine doing that for years and years. Some even feel as long as they are getting promoted gradually and get a good financial hike, they are fine with the mask.

I remember moving into a house back in Bournemouth with 2 amazing housemates to share with. It was a great place, but I was scared of being new to the place, and not knowing the culture of the place, so my first reaction to everything was defensive. The UK taught me to say thank you and sorry for anything and everything. Don’t get me wrong, I used to do that before too, but they do it for every small thing, and this habit made me apologise even if I wasn’t doing something wrong. Comparing this to a company, many people feel that being their true self is risky, they feel if they get their true self out, people might not like them, or people might feel they don’t need to respect them. I’ve heard this from many friends, that often they fear the real them coming out and spoiling the whole relationship status in office.

How often have you seen a meeting room with 8-10 people talking about emotions? You’ll see people talking about something good or bad from electronics to politics, but they don’t talk about emotions, because people feel scared of showing them to their office. I remember a guy once told me he wanted to cry, but can’t because people will think he’s a girl (kind of a sick convention that only girls cry – hate this), He was really upset with the way his manager behaved with him, but was reluctant to either tell him or go to HR. He finally quit the company after suffering for about 2 years. On his last day, I was shocked to see him say thanks to his boss, and when I asked him, he told it’s a small world and they could meet again.

Some people I worked with were very different, they would crack the odd joke, really feel their true self in office, speak what they want to – and really do what they believed in. I feel at times, these people really are very passionate about what they do, and often are very successful. Sometimes to be scared is good, but ensuring you bring your true self to the picture often helps.

It took me a long, long time to realise that we are not meant to be perfect; WE’RE MEANT TO BE WHOLE – Jane Fonda

I was in GE for 7 years, and often when leaders came to speak, I saw a lot of storytelling. Those stories were not only about ones about success and superheroes. They believed in sharing a lot of failures, and the way they told it, it really made you connect well to the story. Yes, they were very senior in their roles (VP, Director, CXO’s) – but even at that level, being your true self is a big thing. How often have you heard a VP come to a stage and say well I failed in xyz? You don’t, or it’s rare, and that’s what made me happy to hear stories in GE. I felt those people really had learnt the lesson of wholeness and were very vulnerable in front of people. It was not always failure stories, there were good/great ones too, but sometimes we all need to face the big fact of life – we all learn the most when we fail.

In a similar manner, I also saw people bringing personal items to their workspaces. Some people having family photos at their desk makes them feel good and ensures they don’t have to keep that mask on. I was big Friends fan, so I had a photo with my friends in a coffee shop, and often people talking about it made me open and happy.

I think this whole thing also ties to the psychological safety of a team. If people don’t feel safe, they can never speak up or be open or true to themselves. It’s the duty of team members to ensure everyone feels safe to speak up and point out anything and everything.

Another aspect which ties in is being vulnerable when speaking to your team. I’ve always seen that we as leaders are often telling success stories where we were amazing, but fewer people like to accept and share their failures in public. They might have learned the most during those failures in life, but they don’t take pride in speaking about them. Being vulnerable for a leader is a very important attribute where people start seeing them as normal human beings, and not superheroes, and then the team feels safe to speak up and share their own opinions, even if they are the wrong ideas. Often the wrong ideas lead to the right ones, and every thought should be taken as an opportunity to learn and grow from there.

I will end this by telling people to think how easy it would be for you to work if you have the real you out front, and you realise you might have strength and also some weakness, but you learn to live with it, but always make sure you don’t wear a mask, and get your true self to your workplace. Because at the end of the day, YOU ARE SPECIAL.

mindset · purpose · smile

Our Purpose – Why Do We Exist?

My journey to finding my purpose started back in 2014 while I was working in GE, and one of my managers asked me where I was going with my life, and what I wanted to do. I had been talking with him to about my role, and the need to get promoted to the next level, and he totally changed the topic and asked me where I was taking my life. I got one of the greatest leadership lessons when he explained that the responsibilities I was asking for didn’t, in fact, require a promotion.

I was looking to be a leader by title, and he said there’s no such thing. It was a big moment for me, because he taught me the lesson that to become a leader, all you need is the right mindset and behavior, and once people see you as one, no one can stop you. Fast track one year, he asked me how I felt, and I told him that the promotion might have been useless if I didn’t understand that lesson. It was really something that made me think and build some great relationships.

Some time back I did a course with IDEO on the Power of Purpose, which again made me come back to this question. The course had pretty good ways of showing how your sense of calling had to do with your team purpose, and also to do with your organization purpose, and how they should really align. Working for an IT company but thinking of playing tennis with a group of expert miners isn’t going to create anything good. The course made us write and refine our purpose statement which was very cool. I also understood that when you connect your purpose to what you are doing in real life, it’s really satisfying.

We have a duty to ourselves and to our organization to enquire about our personal sense of calling, to see if and how it resonates with Org Purpose

– Joe Brown, Portfolio Director at IDEO

Today I work at Symplr, a company that works on how to improve operations for people in a hospital, so that caregivers have more time to be hands on. While I do my job and deliver products with quality, I really see myself connected to the purpose. For me, my healthcare journey started in 2012 with GE (and being a Grey’s Anatomy fan), but now I can really connect myself to my organization’s purpose and that really makes me happy doing what I do in life.

Your purpose might be hidden in fog, you need to find it

Whenever I think about purpose, I can’t forget about my failures. In life, I’ve seen a lot of failures which have taught me how important it is to treat them as opportunities, that help you learn and discover the next steps. It could be as small as a decision not gone your way, to a big thing, but every time you need to think of it as a step towards learning and growth. That’s what will make you become stronger and more prepared. This is a mindset we as leaders need to develop over a period of time and really prepare ourselves for. Failure can come at any stage of life, but it’s the way we react to it which matters.

I remember working in GE through 4 products/programs, and I could see myself being challenged all the time on the way we work. Sometimes when you work in a place, you tend to believe in a year or so that you now know how to succeed in the system, you get how to behave and how to live around that. Life taught me that what/how you work on a project might be totally different to others. I saw projects where there was a huge focus on quality, whereas others which were super aggressive on execution, and every time I changed, I could take help from a mentor who told me that you need to tune yourself according to the system where you work.

I remember working on a program (as a Program Manager) where I had people from Mumbai (India) /Bangalore (India) /Hino (Japan) / Beijing (China) /Milwaukee (US) – and that program taught me how the behaviours of each country/continent are so different and unique. I could start with the simplest things, like in Japan you need to suffix a name by “san” to address a person. The way you behave with people could be the same, but if you need to learn and grow you need to learn the regional conventions and learn how to connect. You need to know that culture matters, people around you matter, and how they perceive you is equally important, and you need to work on those regularly.

Those different projects made me realize that what works in one environment might not work in others, and so you need to keep learning to tune yourself, and realize to tie back to your purpose and giving importance to people. People are really at the heart of everything we do.

I would strongly advise all leaders to ask themselves this: What’s my purpose? Does it tie to my org purpose? Does my team know why we are working on the product, and how it affects people lives? I feel when people know the purpose and can connect to the same, they work the best. Hope you are able to find your purpose and can connect it to your team and organization purpose.